Maybe its the fact that I'm a mother now, but something about this birthday feels so different to me. Not in a bad way of course. I am so abundantly blessed, Id be a real fool to complain. BUT..... something is different, and I know exactly what it is- I am getting OLD! I never thought I would be saying that word in regards to myself at such a young age, but its true. Now, just for clarification, I know that I am not old. I'm not even half-way to 30 for Pete sake! However, this year, unlike past years, I cant deny that I'm getting there. I've battled with this idea in my head over and over again, and the best way I can explain it is like this: In all my previous birthdays, I remember feeling excited, thrilled, and like it couldn't get here soon enough. I never viewed my birthday as anything more, but a true celebration of my life as a young girl morphing into a grown woman. Never in my mind did it occur I was actually getting older. I mean that doesn't happen to young people like me, right?;) With every candle I blew out, I would make a secret wish that time would speed up. I wanted to be grown.
Which is quite hysterical really... Because now instead of wishing that time would speed up, I'm begging for it to slow down. As I watch my son grow more and more everyday, I've never been more sure of how precious and fragile the time on this earth really is. My shield of invincibility that my youth once held has now vanished, and I'm at the mercy of time. I totally believe it's because I have a son that I feel this way. I'm so thankful he came into our lives, and taught me how to seize the day. He taught me how to enjoy every moment of this life, and to stop wishing time away. Such a gift I feel blessed to have! So.. as I blow out my candles this year, I will do away with the wishes, and replace it with a little prayer. I pray for God to constantly show mercy on me for my shortcomings, and to help me each and every day to utilize fully the precious time he gives me on this earth! I owe it all to him.
Here's to 24 years young!
